Christmakah in Northern Vietnam

January 4, 2025

Dear Friends, Family, and Fellow Travelers, 

Happy New Year! We have been traveling for 6 months now, and it both feels as though we’ve been traveling forever and that we just left Washington.

Sara’s Thoughts and Recap

We arrived in Hoi An on the very last day of 2024. Hoi An is a small city on the central coast of Vietnam, and we will spend the next 4 weeks (minus a 4-night detour south) here. We are already smitten with our AirBnb, a cozy three bedroom, three bath villa with a shared pool. There’s an on-site housekeeper who made us breakfast on our first morning here, and a very responsive host. We are staying amidst the rice paddies, about a 30 to 40-minute walk away from Hoi An Ancient Town, which is a UNESCO World Heritage site. We will write more about our time here in Hoi An for our next newsletter, though we’ve already enjoyed several activities here, including making our own lanterns and a farming and fishing trip. I’ve also dragged my family to one of the many custom tailors that line the streets of the city to have outfits made for our upcoming family photos. This was a very cool experience (or so I insisted, ad nauseam) to design whatever we wanted (within financial and practical reason) and have outfits that fit us perfectly (a thing my children do not care about). Please stay tuned for the finish product and then oooh and ahhh so I can justify this entire endeavor.

Turning back time for a bit ---

Our first week and a half in Vietnam was spent in the Northern part of the country, where we visited Hanoi, Bai Tu Long Bay, and Sapa. This part of the trip was heavily focused on religion, culture, nature, and food. In our lead up to visiting Vietnam, we’ve been trying to figure out how to help the kids understand the nation’s history, as well as America’s role in a war that so many agree never should have been our country’s war to fight, and in a way that is age appropriate. As American tourists, I feel a particular responsibility to be a polite, respectful traveler, and I am also aware that putting those expectations on our children can often increase their anxiety about their behavior, and subsequently backfire. Thus far, some of our guides here have been effusive to the point of cloying, and again, trying to find that balance between being polite and respectful and asking for some space has been a tricky one to navigate. (This was especially uncomfortable during our drive from the train station to central Sapa, where we had to effectively beg to be taken to where we were supposed to go rather than be driven into town for breakfast. All three of us were still wearing pajamas!) At any rate, we will be delving more into the history of the Vietnam War in and around Ho Chi Minh City in a couple of weeks, which I anticipate will spark more reflection and questions.

Hanoi: We arrived in Hanoi late on December 22^nd, and didn’t get to our hotel until 10:30 at night. Naturally, everyone was exhausted when we checked into our room at Siesta Classic May. The room set up was pretty neat – we stayed in a duplex suite, which allowed for two people to sleep upstairs and three people to sleep downstairs, with a bathroom on each floor (a must for us). As expected, the male contingent of the family failed to wake up in time for breakfast the following morning, so Calla and I took on the task of bringing food and beverages for three upstairs. We had nowhere to be until 4:30 in the afternoon, and once everyone was sufficiently awake and fed, we headed out to explore Hanoi in search of warmer clothes and accessories since we anticipated that the rainy winter weather of Northern and Central Vietnam would be a big change of pace for us (trip-wise; not life-wise. I have three Washington bred children after all). After unsuccessfully trying to find kid-sized items at one of the many “Made in Vietnam” shops, we picked up some mochi ice cream and headed for the tried-and-true UNIQLO, where we bought long-sleeved, insulated shirts, gloves, scarves, and a lightweight puffer jacket for me. I’ve never seen a city quite so chaotic with traffic. It felt like a game of human Frogger, trying to avoid getting hit by motorcycles.

The rules of the road were unclear to us non-initiated folks. Crosswalks were merely white lines in the road. Happily, we quickly learned how to navigate the roads from our food tour guide: To cross the street in Hanoi you have to make an executive decision, never question it, move quickly (but not run), and avoid all eye contact with motorists. Twice, Calla hit a motorcycle while walking down the sidewalk. Mind you, she was not hit by a motorcycle but literally walked into the handlebars of parked motorcycles because motorcycle handlebar height aligns perfectly with the eyes of an almost five-year-old. Simon was particularly apprehensive but eventually got used to weaving his way through the streets. After our shopping trip, everyone was getting hungry, but since we had a late afternoon food tour booked, we didn’t want a heavy lunch. We found a bakery outside the French Quarter where everyone ate delicious pastry things such as a flat croissant with strawberry icing and garlic cream cheese bread. After recouping for a bit at our hotel, we met our food tour guide, Ella, and explored the Hanoi street food scene (spring rolls, dried beef salad, banh mi, three types of coffee, and more). We visited 6 different places, where you primarily sit outside on these tiny tables with even tinier chairs like it’s preschool. Ella shared stories with us about the city and the history of the food. We all had a blast.

The following day, we met our guide, Lin, after breakfast for a day tour of the city. We visited the Temple of Literature and the Ngoc Son Temple (Jade Mountain Temple) and learned about Taoism. Inside the Jade Mountain Temple is a giant preserved turtle, of which I steered clear. We ate cheap banh mi for lunch and then took a cyclo tour around the Old Quarter. Cyclos are like adult strollers, and the whole thing was fun, albeit a bit unnecessary and needlessly indulgent. When then saw a water puppet show, a centuries-old tradition, which includes musicians, singers, and puppeteers. It was delightful, though we understood not a word of it.

We returned to our room to pack for our Bai Tu Long Bay cruise, and before dinner (which we ate at Duong II, across the street), we visited the bar on the rooftop of our hotel for drinks, where Calla decided she wanted to be the Christmas Eve entertainment. For nearly an hour, she stood on the makeshift stage, dancing and singing into the (not turned on) microphone. We were assured multiple times by bar staff that this was not a problem, and thus we allowed it. The next morning, a man came up to Calla and told her he’d watched her performance and that she is very talented. Anyways, I did not have “four-year-old as bar opening act” on my World Trip bingo card, but knowing my daughter, I probably should have.

We returned to Hanoi as a base between visiting Bai Tu Long Bay and Sapa. All in all, we got a nice overview of the city, though I wish I could have explored more beyond the Old Quarter.

Bai Tu Long Bay: We spent two nights on a Signature cruise through Bai Tu Long Bay, the quieter sibling of the more famous Halong Bay. On our arrival day, we were treated to a delicious, multi-course lunch, took a boat around the bay, and learned how pearls are harvested from oysters. On our second day, we visited a small cave and went kayaking. The final day, Justin took Calla to yet another cave while the rest of us slept. While the bay was beautiful, the weather was cloudy and rainy for much of the time, so we didn’t quite get the full effect. There was a lot of down time, which can be hard for the kids when there isn’t much else to do. In the early evenings, we made spring rolls on the deck and ate delicious dinners. Overall, we enjoyed our mini-cruise, but I’m not quite sure it lived up to the hype. 

Sapa: What did exceed my expectations was Sapa, where I took Jonah and Calla for a couple of days of cultural immersion and trekking. We decided it would be “fun” to take the overnight train from Hanoi, which departs at 10pm and arrives in Lao Cai at 5:55am. I don’t think I’ve taken an overnight train since I was 16 and traveled from Barcelona to Madrid, or maybe 21 while studying aboard, but I can’t remember if I actually took an overnight train or I just stayed in a hostel that used to be a train. Either way, it is possible that I blocked out how oppressively tiny those little train cars are. Our luggage barely fit, and my inability to get the deadbolt open immediately activated my claustrophobia. At any rate, soon enough the children were asleep and I had one of those, “What the f#$% was I thinking?!” Mom moments as the train rattled down the tracks. I awoke at the glorious hour of 4:47am, and shortly thereafter, extremely loud Vietnamese music began blasting from some hidden speaker. Miraculously, it failed to wake the kids, but I got them up around 5:30am so that we could get ready to leave the train.

A brief history lesson: Sapa is one of the northernmost places in Vietnam, about one hour south of the China border. A quiet mountain town, it is now famous for its trekking and the presence of several ethnic minority groups. The Hmong and Dao people originally migrated from south Siberia, though due to their semi-nomadic lifestyle, they have lived in a variety of places, including China. Both groups have only been in Vietnam since the 16-1700’s, and throughout the years, have been ostracized and persecuted. When the incoming Vietnamese communist government took over in the 1950’s, the Hmong and Dao tribes were perceived as primitive and ignorant. Geographically isolated, there were no schools in the Hmong villages until the early 2000’s, and many elder Hmong are illiterate. Based on the characteristics of their dress as well as their dialects, the Hmong in Vietnam are divided into sub-groups including “White” Hmong, “Black” Hmong, “Green” Hmong, and “Flower” Hmong.

While tourism in Sapa is a thriving industry, much of the income is siphoned by larger companies. Altogether, it was incredibly important for us to find a tour company that offered ethical, responsible, and sustainable opportunities. I was thrilled to find Ethos (https://www.ethosspirit.com/) which creates one of a kind, authentic experiences for travelers, creates employment opportunities for local women, and gives the majority of their proceeds back to the communities we visit. 

On day 1, we met our guide, My, who is from the Black Hmong group. The mother of two little girls (3 & 7) she was the ideal guide for Calla, with whom she immediately connected. We trekked to a local Red Dao home, where we (unsuccessfully) went fishing with the other children at the pond behind the house using makeshift bamboo rods. Lunch was cooked over an open fire; over a different fire, we warmed our wet shoes and socks. Later in the afternoon, Calla and I took baths in giant barrels, which is the traditional way of bathing. It felt luxurious on a cold day, in a house with no internal heating beyond the fires. The kids learned how to use a corn mill, and Jonah spent time grinding corn. After we said our goodbyes, we headed back into town and went to our hotel for the evening. Calla and I ventured out to Sapa town for takeout – another Vietnamese feast of fried spring rolls, pork, bamboo rice rolls, salmon, and bubble tea – which the three of us ate back at the room. Everyone fell asleep early and conked out hard, as we were all still tired from the long day and minimal sleep on the train.

Our plan for day 2 was to spend the day trekking and stay overnight in the home of a local Hmong family. Houses are equipped with beds for travelers - raised mattresses surrounded by a mosquito net - but are simple compared to US standards. We awoke after a solid night’s sleep, ate breakfast at our hotel, and then met our guide, Cha, also Black Hmong. A mother of four and a grandmother of seven, Cha is only a handful of years older than I am. As we started out on our trek, Calla decided that this was the day to play tour guide, announcing that she knew more about the area that Cha did. This would have been wildly offensive if she wasn’t so cute. Calla described many of the natural elements for our small group, including telling us about the moss in the rock that you can only touch if you are wearing gloves, or else it is poisonous. Over the course of the morning, we trekked about 3 miles, and it took about 2 ½ hours to get to our first family visit. We ate lunch in the home of a local Black Hmong family with two little girls, Bung and Coo, 2 and 4 months, respectively. Calla was delighted to have a baby to mother, and we enjoyed our afternoon eating and spending time with the family. Unfortunately, Jonah was fading. He woke up complaining of stomach pains, and while he did great during the trek, shortly after we got to the family’s house for lunch, he crashed. He complained of muscle aches, a stomachache, and a headache, and couldn’t eat lunch. After resting for about a half hour, we agreed to trek the 25 minutes to the next house (a potential homestay option) so he could sleep, and we could re-evaluate. During that time, Cha, Calla, and I went for a walk around the village. When the three of us returned, Jonah was feeling worse, and after talking it through with Hoa, the head of Ethos, we decided to stay through dinner (where Calla and I helped to make fried spring rolls) and then take a cab back into town to get a hotel. While we were eager to stay overnight with the family, we were concerned about not having medical access in case of emergency, plus we thought Jonah would be more comfortable in a hotel room. This proved to be the right choice, as Jonah struggled to sleep anyways, and was up sick in the middle of the night. He was still feeling ill in the morning and rested during our long drive back to Hanoi to meet Justin and Simon for one final evening in the city.

Jonah’s illness aside, this experience was a highlight of our trip. Over the two days we were in Sapa, we didn’t see a single other tourist trekking. Our guides – Black Hmong mothers, grandmothers – spoke with us at length about their culture and their day to day lives. Cha told me about birthing her four children at home – the first at age 18 and without her husband home. My shared that her two daughters walk to school each day together, a journey that takes over an hour each way. The Black Hmong women grow indigo that they use to dye their textiles; in part, they are distinguishable from other ethnic minority group by the blue dye that stains their hands. These women were insanely strong. At one point, My threw Calla on her back like she weighed nothing and carried her across a high, thin wall over the fishing pond; that is some next-level Simone Biles shit right there. For several miles, Cha carried her bag, Jonah’s bag, and our camera. And can I just sing Hoa’s praises? In the chaos of getting to the train station, I’d forgotten to get cash from Justin, and she loaned me some. She worked some sort of magic to get a cab at night to the middle of a remote village. When our first day tour canceled due to a family emergency (we were originally planning to forage, not fish), she quickly found something else that we ended up loving.

Homes are simple, typically dark and without much electricity. In the winter, families cook over an open fire. There is limited electricity and indoor light. There were no large couches or playrooms or toys. Calla amused herself with a small home appliance for putting out a fire. She held a baby, and Jonah said, “Calla looks like she’s 10.” Within these communities, children build independence far earlier than our children do. At our homestay, the 13-year-old daughter immediately jumped in to wash and chop vegetables and cook. While Calla says our house is “more beautifuller” the reality is, different people need different things. I’m envious of the independence the Hmong children develop and talked a lot about this with my guides. I am also inordinately grateful to families who open their homes to strangers time and again so that we can deepen our understanding of their cultures.

Finally, as we approach Calla’s fifth birthday, I am in awe of how much she has grown over the past six months. In just the last week alone, Calla slept on an overnight train, and immediately connected with both of our trekking guides. She entered into traditional Black Hmong homes and played with their children. She grabbed a fishing pole and insisted on zero assistance from others. On our second day, she trekked nearly 9km (5.34 miles), oftentimes telling the guide that she wanted to lead and didn’t need any help. The treks were muddy; on day 1, Calla even managed to lose her shoe. She sat around the blazing fire watching the families cook. She is extroverted, adaptable, strong, capable, and fiery. I knew it would be hard to explain the concept of an around the world itinerary to a four-year-old, and while she still gets homesick and talks incessantly about her friends and her toys, I love seeing her build her self-confidence as she tries new things and meets new people. 

Jonah’s Musings

We left Thailand and went to Vietnam, another country in Asia just east of Thailand. One of the first places we went was Sapa, up in the northern part of the country. It was very cold and windy so we needed to wear lots of layers. Sapa was once a capital and market back in the 15th century, its first inhabitants were people who we know nothing about. 

Some of the people there that we met were Black H'mong people, like our guides and some people from our home visits and who were H'mong too. The Black H'mong people immigrated from China to Vietnam a long time ago and ever since then they've lived in Sapa.

The first home visit that we did was my favorite, we went fishing (unsuccessfully) and had very very good deep fried spring rolls. The next day we did a 2nd home visit with the Black H'mongs but since I was feeling sick that day and I just rested in one of the beds there. The same thing happened with the home stay after that.

I started feeling worse and worse so I just rested in bed there. Eventually we had to leave early because I just wasn't feeling any better so we stayed the last night in Sapa in a hotel. I really enjoyed Sapa, the guides were incredible and were able to carry Calla over terrain that she couldn't navigate and were always helping us. I really loved Sapa and its been a very fun experience visiting!

Simon’s Reflection

My time in Hanoi was really good. We went to a water puppet show where people had rods behind a curtain holding puppets like fish, humans, turtles, phoenixs, and unicorns. I liked how the show had no mistakes and I could tell went perfectly. It was very funny and a little sad, like when one of the puppets fell in the water and got attacked by another puppet. We also had a very good hotel with an amazing buffet. The room was quite comfortable and had two TVs. 

We went on a tour with a tour guide and went to a big temple with lots of fish and turtles. It was very cool. There was also bonsai trees and the artwork was fascinating.

Dad and I got a picture of us drawn. It looked like me if I was 15 and dad at 28. It was 42% good. I didn't like how he drew my chin. When we were sitting for it people crowded around us and a woman wanted to take a picture of us and dad let her. Some of the people were laughing and I thought it was because the drawing was good but it turned out to be quite bad.

Calla’s Corner

Mommy: Calla, this newsletter is about Hanoi, Bai Tu Long Bay, and Sapa. Which one do you want to talk about first?

Calla: Sapa. 

Mommy: Tell me what you enjoyed about Sapa.

Calla: We went on trekking, it was kind of muddy there. We went fishing and it was fun! Haha. We slept on an overnight train; it was kind of rainbow-ish in there. We slept on it only one time, but for the first time I slept on a train it was fun! So, it was necessarily about Sapa, so….the little babies in that house were super cute. Not that cute, but they were really cute, and I hold the littlest one. Not the bigger one, but the littlest one, but it cried so much. It was really fun in there! 

Mommy: Anything else to add about your time in Sapa?

Calla: Yes, I … about fishing. We didn’t catch any fish, but we got spring rolls and noodles for lunch. Just how we community…the family. We all love each other.

Mommy: Thank you for telling me about Sapa. Did you enjoy the cruise we went on to Bai Tu Long Bay?

Calla: Yes.

Mommy: Is that it?

Calla: I think so.

Mommy: What about Hanoi? That was the big city with all the motorcycles!

Calla: Um, I don’t think I have much to say about that. At the water puppet show, there was very much puppets. The cyclo tour was little grown up strollers. They weren’t like real strollers, just like little hoods with wheels and a guide pedaling, and they had a bike seat. That’s pretty much what I have to say!

Mommy: Well thank you, Calla, for your perspective.

Calla: Sure. Can I have my piece of chocolate now?

We look forward to sharing more with you about our adventures in Vietnam in a few weeks! Justin promises he will have more to write about then.

xo,
Sara, Justin, Jonah, Simon, & Calla