Magical Maldives

November 12, 2024

Greetings Friends, Family, and Fellow Travelers, 

I am putting the finishing touches on this newsletter from my balcony at Avani + Fares – Baa Atoll in the Maldives, where the view currently looks like this:

We transferred from our two-bedroom beach pavilion room to two one-bedroom overwater villas for our final two nights of our ten-day Maldivian getaway; we leave tomorrow morning. We woke up far too early with the sunrise today, so Jonah, Calla, and I came outside to enjoy the crisp ocean breeze and the beautiful ocean views before breakfast.

On a different note….

Simon had surgery the day after the 2016 election. I remember us taking him to Seattle Children’s in Bellevue, both of us and disoriented with disbelief. I remember as they placed my 7.5-month-old baby under general anesthesia, wondering “How is this only the second scariest thing to happen this week?” When Simon slept longer post-surgery than anticipated, when he had trouble with his tube removal and then developed croup, I remember feeling my brain slowly shut down, like nothing could possibly be real in our new, alternate universe. (Simon, obviously, pulled through and is fine.) 

For months, I’ve lightheartedly been telling people, “We’ll be in the Maldives over the 2024 election. That was well timed, huh?” Desperate to avoid another kerfuffle akin to “child has surgery the day after a devastating election,” I hoped the beauty and serenity of the Baa Atoll would provide some inoculation for us; a place to celebrate and rejoice or – and my brain never, ever wanted to go here – a place to mourn. A “vacation from our travels,” so to speak.

Sadly, I was proven correct. This has been a good place to mourn. And still, there is incredible loneliness in inoculation. We haven’t met any other Americans at our resort. On Wednesday morning, a man from Switzerland said to me, “You’re in the Maldives, now isn’t the time to get upset about an election.” He meant well, I’m sure, and at the same time, a “just take your mind off things” comes from a place of disconnect that not being an American affords him. The US presidential election is everywhere, and I’ve been consistently surprised by how much others around the globe are aware of it. We’ve been asked about the election almost daily, by multiple people, all of whom know the names of the candidates and all of whom – without exception – have expressed fear of Trump resuming power. But really, other than my spouse, there is no one to commiserate here. I can feel heartache and terror. I can cry into an overpriced cocktail at 11:56am while still marveling at the trees overlooking the pool overlooking the bright blue ocean. I miss the connection with my loved ones who are mourning as I am, for our children and the LGBT communities and our non-White friends, several of whom are not US citizens. We fear what may happen to healthcare, to our reproductive choices, to our daughters’ reproductive choices…. I have so many other fears percolating just below the surface, and it is acutely painful and perhaps futile to let my brain go there right now.

We love our resort in the Maldives. We stayed overnight in Malé before taking a small seaplane for 35 minutes to get to our resort. It’s been a dream. Simon and Calla beg us to spend their days at the kids’ club, and Jonah’s been exercising and hanging out at the teen club. We took him on a turtle snorkeling trip, where we saw both green turtles and hawksbill turtles, and Simon enjoyed his two snorkeling lessons so much that he went on a guided house reef tour yesterday.

Justin and I got our butts kicked by personal training sessions, and then recovered at the spa. As always, our “free” photo shoot with “one included 5x7” turned into me buying all 208 images. The breakfast and dinner buffets are plentiful, and Simon and Calla continue to douse everything with chocolate. There is fresh passion fruit almost every day. I’ve read several books on the beach and when it gets too hot, I jump in the warm water and come right back to my perch. Things are good.  

Things are a waking nightmare. The night of the election, I barely slept. I spent the following morning in such a trance I had to pull Calla out of the ocean because I didn’t think I could safely watch her. I’m happy to have childcare so that I can fall apart in peace, without scaring or scarring the children. I’m happy to have nowhere to be and nothing to do. But am I categorically happy? No. Can I embrace the Maldives and leave everything else behind? Also no. And honestly? I don’t even wish I could, because to do that – to say “let’s just lean into this and worry about Trump later” – is inconsistent with my core values and insulting to the millions and millions of people whose lives are going to become infinitely worse. I always coach my clients, “There are times to lean into our emotions and there are times to pull back. You need to learn and practice skills for both.” This has been an ideal time to take my own advice. I allow moments of distraction, leaving my phone behind when I can, throwing myself into an engaging psychological thriller or observing a dazzling sunset over the Indian Ocean. I also allow moments to read the NYTimes and allow the experience of a plethora of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, confusion. I can notice the interconnection of all beings when talking to staff members and guests about being an American right now. I can delight in the sand between my toes and the sound of my kids’ giggles as they run through the water while at the same time, fear for their future. Knowing that change is constant, knowing that we are entering into uncertain times, and at the same time, knowing that millions of people feel as I do. This isn’t hope; this is just radical and full acknowledgment that multiple realities can co-exist.

Our resort offers Sound Healing Meditation, which harnesses the power of sound to help balance out shakras and promote relaxation. The practice uses several singing bowls. If you are a DBT therapist, you likely – as I do – have a Pavlovian response to the sound of a singing bowl. When I hear one, I immediately assume a mindful posture and focus in. I attended this class once the evening before the election and once three days after. During the first class – which was held indoors – I noticed a sense of deep relaxation. The sounds seemed to dance above my head, awakening my senses. During the second class – which was held by the beach – it was harder to focus my attention. I was able to access expanded awareness, integrating the sounds of the waves with the sounds of the singing bowls. I noticed a somberness that wasn’t there before. I think that may just be the way it is as we continue to travel internationally while maintaining a toehold in Washington. There is a somberness to being gone, there is a somberness to knowing we will come back. It doesn’t erase or erode the beauty of the memories we are making; it just is.

And for some levity….

Calla’s Corner:

Mommy: Calla, tell me about your time in the Maldives.

Calla: So, I don’t really know….

Mommy: Do you want me to ask more specific questions?

Calla: Yes.

Mommy: So you’ve been going to the kids club… tell me about going to the kids club.

Calla: I went to a kids club. It was a lot of fun and I liked it. We had a bunch of fun. There was movie time and arts and crafts and there was Play-Doh and it was so fun! So we decided to put on the show and there was a game room inside, an outdoor playground and it was so lovely and stuff.

Mommy: Other than the kids club what else have you been doing in the Maldives?

Calla: OK, so I don’t really know but …. It was lovely. There was a beautiful pool and it was likely to have bunch of fun. I dived down in the deep water. I can float without kicking or swimming. In the pool I didn’t need to kick. I can only float underwater if I didn’t have floaties. If I have floaties, I wouldn’t be able to float underwater so it will give me the power to float up above water.

Mommy: Did you get to go snorkeling?

Calla: Yeah.

Mommy: How was it?

Calla: Beautiful.

Mommy: Anything else you want to tell us about the beautiful island we are on or taking a seaplane or anything else you can think of?

Calla: Maybe….I think… I snorkeled; it was lots of fun, but I didn’t take a snorkeling lesson [Ed note: She was supposed to go with Simon but changed her mind once she was already in the water]. So…it was the funnest thing, swimming in the lake. I [ate] all the breakfast with the chocolate donuts. It was a bunch of chocolate donuts. I added more chocolate and there was white chocolate and it was super fun.

Mommy: Calla, anything you want to say about the re-election of Donald Trump to being president?

Calla: it’s inappropriate. Sorry.

From our photo shoot….

I think this is all for me now. For those of you mourning alongside us, even with oceans between us, we remain connected.

xo,
Sara, Justin, Jonah, Simon, & Calla