Traversing the Kingdom of Bhutan [Part 1]

November 27th, 2024

Greetings Family, Friends, and Fellow Travelers,

We are currently in Koh Lanta and will stay here until just before Christmas. After visiting the Maldives, we flew to Bangkok. From there, Justin took Simon and Calla to Koh Samui, where they all proceeded to get sick at various times during the week they were there. Jonah and I flew to Paro and spent nine incredible days in Bhutan. This newsletter will be sent in two parts, mine and Jonah’s, filled with photos, videos, stories, and reflections. We hope you will read them and feel as inspired by this country as we were. Many of the photos you see were taken by our guide, Lhanga Dorjee, who carried my camera everywhere, often capturing images that I didn’t know he was taking, putting a smile on my face at the end of each day when I offloaded the memory card onto my computer. I do my best here to accurately relay the intrinsically linked information about Bhutan and Buddhism we learned along the way. Any mistakes are mine alone and not reflective of the quality or caliber of our guide or his education.

I became intrigued by Bhutan early on when researching potential countries to visit on our world trip. There is nowhere in the world quite like it, less touched by modernism in a way many other countries are. Buddhism is the national religion (primarily Nyingma or Kagyu), and the country’s output is measured in Gross National Happiness; indeed, Bhutan is consistently ranked as one of the happiest countries on earth. There are also several elements of Buddhism (Zen tradition) infused into Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and thus I was hoping a visit to the country would help me to deepen my understanding of my own practice. Bhutan carefully regulates tourism, charging a daily tourist fee to promote sustainable, low impact tourism. As a result, our experience here was totally seamless, as you will see.

It also became clear early on in my travel research that Bhutan would a place best visited by just Jonah and me. Jonah sometimes gets the short end of the parenting straw, so to speak. An introvert, he enjoys spending long periods of time by himself, and as the least loud child in our family (not that hard an achievement to attain, tbh) his needs aren’t always at the forefront of our household dynamics. This would be our second solo trip together, and I felt the experience of visiting London with Jonah last April really strengthened our relationship. I was eager to take him on another mother/son adventure. When he’s without his siblings, Jonah is able to talk about more complicated subjects, and on a deeper level. I also thought that traveling to a place totally unlike any he had been before would help capture his attention and challenge some of his cultural assumptions and worldview. After Justin and the younger kids left, Jonah and I had a full day at the airport hotel to hang out and get ready for our next adventure, which started very, very early in the morning…

November 15^th: We awoke at 1:20am when my alarm went off, with a backup plan of having my sister call me just in case I overslept. (This was a totally reasonable request, for what it’s worth. It was 1:20pm in Connecticut.) We arrived at the Bangkok airport at 2am, where it was smooth sailing, so we ended up with a lot of time at the gate. Jonah slept, and I – wired from a 3am latte – spent an hour texting a friend about the DBT conference I was missing at that very moment. A common experience for me when traveling has been feeling like I am living a parallel life; there are times I know with near certainty where I would be and what I would be doing had we not elected to take this trip. It’s a strange thing, missing something so acutely and feeling so much gratitude for the journey we are on now. I certainly felt it in those early morning hours, missing my colleagues and friends and wishing I could be everywhere all at once.

Eventually, we boarded our plane. The landing into Paro is one of the most dangerous in the world, with a short runway that necessitates a quick, last-minute turn right next to the Himalayas. We watched out the window and enjoyed the scenery, and must have had a truly stellar pilot because we didn’t feel a thing. Upon arrival, we were met by our guide, Lhanga Dorjee, and then our drive, Sonam, and were driven to Thimphu. Prior to even getting in the car, it was already evident to us that we were going to have a phenomenal guide. While waiting for Sonam, we sat at a small café for drinks, where Lhanga Dorjee took the time to help a woman from China get connected to her hotel after no one picked her up at the airport. This type of courteousness and kindness followed us for the duration of the trip.  

On the road…. I opted to take medication for altitude sickness prior to departure, but the windy roads were getting to Jonah and we had to take a couple of breaks for air. We got to Druk Hotel in the heart of Thimphu around 9:30am and were absolutely exhausted since we’d both barely slept and had been awake and traveling for close to 9 hours. We had a quick breakfast and then took long naps before venturing back out. We first toured Chang Yul Park, a 7-acre garden space, and then browsed the local handicraft stalls, where I bought a warm headband for me and a scarf for Jonah since Bhutan was much chillier than our previous destinations.

Thimphu lies along the western banks of the Wan Chhu River and became Bhutan’s capital in 1961. It has no traffic lights, but it does have a man in uniform in a small booth who directs cars. The primary attraction here is the Tashincho Dzong (the Fortress of the Glorious Religion) which was built in the 17^th century. Central to the religious and administrative power of the country, it houses the ministries, the king’s secretarian, and the central monk body. There are effectively two rulers in Bhutan: the king and the Chief Abbot. Bhutan adopted a monarchy system in 1907, and since there, there have been five kings. Bhutan’s current king is Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck, who ascended to the throne in 2006. There are portraits of him and his beautiful family all over the country, in monasteries, restaurants, and private homes. Concurrently, there is a Je Khenpo, or a Chief Abbot of the Central Monastic Body of Bhutan. This person is responsible for matters pertaining to religion nationwide. These two figures are the only ones permitted to wear a saffron-colored scarf; different scarf colors connote different types of rankings. In the Tashichho Dzong, which can be visited only after 5pm, we first watched the lowering of the Bhutanese flag, and then we entered into the temple. As you can only travel to Bhutan with a group or private tour, there were guides in National Dress everywhere, and this continued throughout our journey. The Tashincho Dzong was a good introduction to both Bhutan and Buddhism. In addition to learning about the dual governing system, we learned about individuals who helped bring Buddhism to Bhutan and unite the unite the country. We also got learned about key gods, figures, and deities in Buddhism. We returned to our hotel for dinner, where we debuted in our role of “Americans who can’t tolerate spicy food” and ate lasagna and momos (Himalayan dumplings).

Also, I’ll note here that photography inside the monasteries in Bhutan is strictly prohibited, which is why you won’t see any. Nevertheless, we took enough photos of everything else to make up for it!

November 16^th: Jonah woke up at 5am feeling the impact of altitude sickness, complaining of stomach pains and dizziness. He ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor for the rest of the morning, so he took some nausea medication and thankfully he felt much better by the end of the day. We headed out in the morning for a full day tour of the city. First, we saw the Memorial Chorten, which was built 50 years ago. Because of its central location, many Bhutanese visit to pray and prostrate at the shrine and turn the giant prayer wheels (clockwise only). We learned about offerings, and our guide explained that the seven cups of water you often see at the altars represent the seven steps the Buddha took upon his birth. He also shared that giving water can help people practice non-attachment; for example, if you offer gold or silver, you might sit up in bed at night with some regret, wishing you had not given away such precious gems. But with water, it is easier to let go. We discussed reincarnation, and the notion that how you behave in this life impacts how you return in your next life. The lowest level is hell, followed by the animal realm, and then the spirit realm. We saw several statues of deities, depicted as the merging of the male (“knowledge”) and the female (“compassion.”) We also saw portraits of the last three kings and discussed their lives. The third king was the “father of Bhutan,” but died quite young at age 42, upon which his teenage son ascended the throne.

While touring the temple, I asked Lhanga Dorjee where he learned so much about Buddhism, as I was curious if any of this was taught in schools. He shared that it is not really, but most people pray in the morning and afternoon, and know a bit about the gods and deities, but that to become a tour guide, you have to study for three months and then explore the religion on your own. This is consistent with Buddha’s teachings. While Buddha shared what he did on his path towards enlightenment, he made clear that he wanted people to learn his teachings for themselves. I said to Jonah how much I love this; how much I think “you have to learn this on your own” is missing from so much of modern religion.

Next, we visited a colossal statue of Buddha called the Buddha Dordemna, which is so huge that we could see it from the street, peaking out above the trees. The Buddha Dordemna was completed in 2015 and cost over $100 million USD. This Buddha sits 51.5m tall and is one of the tallest in Asia. There was also a display depicting both the male and female forms of each of the twelve symbols of the Chinese zodiac, and we made small offerings on the five representing our family (1 dragon, 1 monkey, and 3 rats.) We saw the 18 arhats, or the original followers of Buddha who have followed the noble path and attained enlightenment, including Buddha’s son. This temple also houses 125,000 individual statues of Buddha, in addition to the large one out front. After two days of travel, I was pleased to recognize several of the figures depicted in statues and paintings.

We went for a quick lunch, which is a bit of a novelty for us. We’ve mostly been eating huge breakfasts and dinners, and then grabbing a croissant or two from the breakfast buffet to tide us over. I’m not a huge fan of large, sit-down lunches, so having an itinerary that includes them daily is both a bit of a luxury and a shock to our systems.

 After lunch, we went to the takin zoo. A takin is the national animal of Bhutan, and the mythology behind the animal is the following: In the 15^th century, “The Divine Madman” (a Tibetan saint) arrived in Bhutan and delivered his religious teachings. He was asked to conjure up a miracle, provided the people would feed him a whole cow and a whole goat. The saint ate both animals, left out the bones, and then fixed the head of the goat onto the body of the cow and uttered a mantra. Instantly, the new animal sprung to life and began to graze. Now, Jonah is convinced the takin is just a cow, but I’m totally on board with the cow/goat hybrid upon seeing them. We were pleased to see that the takin zoo wasn’t really a zoo at all, but a preserve that also houses several other animals including sambar deer, barking deer, the blue sheep, and several species of birds, including pheasants. Jonah enjoyed this experience immensely, and will talk about it more in his blog.

Next, we were supposed to head to the Institute for Zorig Chosum, which is a Painting School, but it was closed. Instead, we stopped in some handicrafts shops and bookstores, and visited local farmers’ markets. I always enjoy wandering around local towns and peeking into stores, since it gives me a sense of how people in the area live. And you know I love me a good farmers’ market. Thimphu locals can get essentially everything there, including rice, meat, fruits, and vegetables.

We returned to our hotel shortly before 4, in time for a private cultural show. I’ve had a few experiences like this where artists perform just for us, and I find them exciting but weirdly off balance, like I want to be the perfect two guests for these ten people performing just for us. The show started off with a welcome song, and some softer hymns, before surprising us halfway through with the yak dance. We got YAKKED. That’s all I can say. You’ll have to wait for Jonah’s video.

All this to say, we loved it.

November 17^th: We checked out of our hotel at 9am and stopped after about 45 minutes to see Dochula pass. We were treated to a beautiful view of the Himalayas, and also wandered through the 108 memorial chortens (Druk Wangyal Chortens) built in honor of the Bhutanese solders who died during military occupation.

We continued our drive towards Gangtey. Both of us were still so tired, and I fell asleep in the car; soon thereafter, so did Jonah. When we awoke at 12:30, we were surprised to learn we were already in Gangtey and at lunch and that we’d missed seeing some macaques en route. Another buffet and ginger honey lemon tea later, and we were back on the road to visit the Black Neck Crane Center. We first watched a video to learn more about the conservation efforts, as well as the challenges of balancing modernization of farming (potatoes is the primary product here) while at the same time, keeping the land protected. (The government of Bhutan mandates that at least 60% of the land remain forested; estimates suggest that the real figure is closer to ~70.) It was harder to see the cranes – who migrate here from Tibet - than I thought it would be, but the center had huge telescopes through which we could see the birds.

 Finally, we were brought to our hotel, the Gangtey Tent Resort, around 3pm. As the name implies, we stayed in a freestanding tent overlooking the Phobjkha Valley, and we enjoyed the extra downtime to read, write, and recuperate. Gangtey is much chillier than Thimphu, and we were glad to have brought cold weather accessories with us. Jonah campaigned hard for me to let him raid the mini bar for chocolate, and I gave in after discovering that our dessert that evening was – gasp – only fruit, and watermelon at that. (Neither of us eat watermelon. Usually, we just feed it to our Chief Watermelon Connoisseurs, Simon and Calla, but they were MIA.)

Also – I should note that while in Bhutan, we encountered more Americans than we’d seen anywhere else on this trip. Both Jonah and I were very surprised and wonder if it’s because tourists tend to travel to similar places in the country (e.g., temples, restaurants) so we just saw more tourists, in general, or if it has something to do with the country itself. Theories welcome!

November 18^th: We awoke in Gangtey, had breakfast, and visited Gangtey Gompa, the only Nyingmapa monastery in Western Bhutan and the oldest in the area. This monastery is a complex of five temples that surround a central tower. Today there was a relic being brought over and crowds were projected to be huge (more on this later). The temple was beautiful, and Jonah was particularly interested in the lore of the Tiger’s Nest, about which we will learn more towards the end of our trip. In preparation for the displaying of the relic, we encountered several groups of young monks, resulting in one of my absolute favorite photos from this entire trip:

We also took photos of the courtyard and preparations:

After visiting Gangtey Gomta, we went for a hike on the Gangtey Nature Trail that ended with a panoramic view of the Phobjkha Valley. It was so quiet and peaceful, until many more tourists showed up. From the top of the hike, you can see all the houses, which are built to uniform style as implemented by the government. Using binoculars, we could see the black necked cranes. On our walk back down, we chatted with our guide about the tourism industry, and he shared that during COVID, the king went bankrupt as he provided every tour guide with 10,000 Ngm/month to help them sustain their income; this really encapsulates the king’s generosity and desire to support his Kingdom.

By then, we were hungry and ate a local lunch of Bhutanese noodles, chicken, potatoes in cheese sauce, and veggies. I took my first small sample of the famous ema datshi – a cheese sauce with chilis – which was exceptionally spicy and sadly too much for me. (We continue to learn that there are separate menus for “tourists” and “Bhutanese,” and I want to feel embarrassed about this, but a girl’s gotta eat.)

Next, we returned to Gangtey Gomta to see a sacred Buddha relic (e.g., small piece of bone or a tooth), which arrived in Bhutan from France for public display for the first time in 10 years. This was a huge event, with stores closing and children skipping school, waiting for hours to see it. Upon our arrival, the main complex was packed – a far cry from the few dozen or so visitors who were sitting patiently when we left a couple hours earlier. While the crowd was elbow to elbow with guards running crowd control, it was still far tamer than what one would see in the US. No one was holding guns and there were no barking dogs. While we were being told not to push, I didn’t actually see any pushing. I was impressed to see so many children waiting quietly with their parents and not melting down, and no one – no one – was on their phones. Lhanga Dorjee says this is what it often looks like at large festivals and/or when people are waiting to receive blessings. We waited for about an hour and a half, standing next to a large group of nuns – the same ones we were planning to visit later in the evening. Acutely aware that we were sticking out like sore thumbs (and because I’m not a jerk), I was adamant that we needed to let the nuns go first, as well as any “old people or young children.” After an hour and a half, we were stewarded through a line where we passed the relic so quickly that it took a moment for me to even realize that I had seen it. Then we were given mango juice and watermelon gum, which delighted Jonah, and returned to the car.  

We went back to our hotel briefly before leaving for the Shechen Nunnery, where we were scheduled to serve tea to the nuns. This is an unusual experience for tourists to have, as it is often reserved for locals. There are fewer nuns than monks in Bhutan, with approximately 21 nunneries in the entire country. The nuns live a life of austerity, wearing maroon robes and shaving their heads, and are dedicated to religion and providing social services. This experience was one of my favorites in our entire trip. Upon arrival, Lhanga Dorjee showed us around the monastery, and then told us to wait. The room was set up with low chairs, makeshift tables, and prayer books. So we waited. And waited. (Lhanga Dorjee says that the Bhutanese are very patient; they can wait all day.) We watched the nuns file into the monastery, chatting amongst themselves. Jonah wondered what they might be saying. Were they talking about us? I pointed out that we were talking about them, so it would only be fair. After a little while, the room was filled with about 35 nuns. They sat and began chanting, and soon thereafter some of the nuns came around with tea and crispy rice. We thought we would be serving tea to the nuns, which is considered good karma or good fortune. In fact, during the car ride over, Jonah and I jokingly (sort of) expressed concern about accidentally spilling hot water on one of the nuns. We were happy to learn that we would not have to pour the tea but could sit with the nuns while they served themselves. We were horrified, then, when the nuns served the tea to us! But apparently the tea had been our offering to them (c/o our travel agency), so our good karma remains, I suppose. At any rate, the chanting and prayers continued for about an hour, with occasional trumpets, beating of a drum, and periodic tossing of rice. It was intoxicating, mesmerizing, and serene. We must have been there for an hour just listening to them. I have no idea what they were saying – though we spoke about the prayers with our guide on our drive back – but both of us felt much gratitude for the experience.

November 19, 2024: We checked out of our hotel in Gangtey and began the three-hour journey to Punakha. Along the way, we stopped at Wangdue Phodrang, and I bought a couple of warm scarves for Justin and me, which I hadn’t planned to do until I touched the soft yak wool and realized there was no getting out of there without buying something. Upon arriving in Punakha, we had lunch, and then took a short walk to Chimi Lhakhang, a temple dedicated to the Divine Madman. (You may remember him from the story of the takin.) To set the stage for this visit, the night before, I asked Jonah if he had noticed all the penis imagery around Bhutan. He had not, so I googled it and learned that the symbol of the phallus is associated with the Madman, and wards off the evil eye, and that we would be seeing it most prominently displayed at the Chimi Lhakhang, where we just happened to be visiting the next day. When I talked to Lhanga Dorgee about it the next day, he said that many Bhutanese display this symbol as a way of protecting themselves. The monastery is colloquially known as the temple of fertility, and people come from all around to receiving blessings. In the temple, there is a photo album including letters from parents who have visited Chimi Lhakhang and became pregnant soon thereafter, welcoming children. There is a large phallus towards the front of the temple, and per our guide, women are meant to carry it on their backs (like a backpack) and walk around the temple three times, without their husbands looking. Since I was decidedly not interested in a fertility blessing – in fact, I may or may not have said, “I will stay as far away from that thing as possible, please” – instead I opted for the blessings for my children’s health and well-being. We continued to walk around the temple, and I noticed a small status of Belle (i.e., of Disney fame) on display. Since this seemed particularly out of place, I asked our guide, and he said it was a gift from a family who had a baby after visiting the temple. I should also just add that Jonah was horrified by this whole thing and told me that I “sound like a 12-year-old boy” with all of my questions about phalluses. I will again underscore that in Bhutan, no one finds this embarrassing because it is a common symbol in the culture.

Once Jonah recovered from his mortification, we went to a paint shop that specializes in traditional Bhutanese art. The artists were trained at the Zorig Chosum and asked us what we wanted to paint before our arrival. Naturally, Jonah selected a tiger, and I said I wanted to paint a calla lily, but per Jonah’s request, decided to make a collage incorporating all my children: a dove for Jonah (Hebrew for “dove”), music notes for Simon (Hebrew for “he who hears” or “he who listens”) and calla lilies for Calla. We painted for a couple of hours, and despite my total lack of artistic talent, was excited to see the finished products.  The artists planned to touch up both paintings prior to us picking them up a couple days later en route to Paro.  

Finally, we arrived at the Dhukra Farm Resort. I love staying on farms, as they typically serve farm to table food, which is my favorite way to eat. We had some tea overlooking the views of the Punakha Dzong, and after the sunset, checked into room. Jonah blogged while I rested, and then we had dinner: a delicious potato tomato soup for dinner and some farm fresh veggie salad and then we had veggies and chicken and rice and some homemade apple crisp. Everything was very tasty.

November 20^th: Jonah and I awoke in Punakha and were treated to a delicious breakfast of homemade juice, bread, and pancakes. Our first stop this morning was to the Khamsum Yulley Namgyal Chorten, which was built by the present Queen Mother for her son, the King, in 2004. We took a brief, but steep, hike to the top of the valley, and were treated to stunning views of the Punakha Valley and the Mo Chhu River from the rooftop of the chorten.

After hiking back down, Jonah and I changed into bathing suits and went rafting down the Mo Chhu river. There are two rivers next to one another, the male river (Pho Chhu) and the female river (Mo Chhu). The male side has stronger rapids, and the female side is calmer. We rafted the latter, leaving our personal beliefs about the naming of the sides of the river to ourselves. We were surprised that we were by ourselves with just the guide and asked to do minimal paddling. Most of the rafting trip was calm, with occasional periods of medium sized rapids. The water was freezing, but it felt nice under the hot sun. At the end of our trip, we met Lhanga Dorjee and Sonam and had a picnic lunch by the water. We were famished by the time we got off the water, and were thrilled to see A=a small table was set up for us. We were treated to all sorts of Bhutanese delicacies, including noodles, fried squash, and mushrooms with peas. Our guides slathered their food with ema datshi, while I, once again, tried one, tiny nibble of the cheese sauce and my eyes started to burn. Bhutan: 2, American tastebuds: 0.

After lunch, we went to visit Punakha Dzong, which was built in 1637 by Shabdrung Mgawang Namgyal, the unifier of Bhutan, and was the administrative center of the country before the capital moved to Thimphu. The Punakha Dzong is one of the largest in the country, with three courtyards, and a stunning, ornately decorated temple. Inside, the walls tell the story of the Buddha, starting from before he was born and ending after his death. Finally, we visited a 160m long suspension bridge over the Pho Chhu river. The views of the mountains and water were breathtaking, probably, had I spent much time looking left or right rather than just trying to stay straight and not look down. We headed back to our room, where I worked on this newsletter while drinking what the hotel called a “hot toddy” and which I will call “straight warm whiskey with some cinnamon sticks.” Over dinner, we chatted with the American couple sitting next to us, who graciously shared some of their peach wine with me and headed back to our room to call Jonah’s grandparents to try to convince then to travel to Bhutan. (Well, and also to say hi, of course.)

November 21^st: We checked out of our hotel in Punakha and picked up our paintings. They came out better than I’d anticipated.

I also bought a painting depicting an eternal knot to hang in my office. The eternal knot – one of the eight auspicious symbols – has multiple meanings, but most resonant for me and my therapy practice are the concept of duality and the interconnectedness and independence of everything in the universe. Next, we drove to Paro, stopping en route to see women engaging in traditional weaving. At lunch, our guide snuck downstairs to bring Jonah back a huge platter of beef momos. Our first stop on our afternoon in Paro was Ta Dzong, which was originally built as a watchtower but now houses the Bhutan National Museum. I’ve never seen a museum with a layout quite like this one, with seven circular stories and some of the original stones and woodwork. The museum now houses an eclectic array of Thangkha paintings, textiles, jewelry, and weapons. There is also a smaller building that houses elaborate masks used in theatrical performances as well as some natural history artifacts, including a giant taxidermized snow leopard. One of us – (the one with the random phobia of dead animals) – tried hard to avoid looking at it. The other of us – (the extreme animal enthusiast) – couldn’t get enough. After dragging Jonah away from the natural history museum, we visited the Rinpung Dzong, which had a beautiful courtyard through which we enjoyed wandering. We also walked the Nemi Zam, a covered bridge that provided excellent views of the city. Finally, we traveled to a store to rent traditional Bhutanese clothing for a brief photo shoot (gho for men and kira for women). The law mandates this dress for government officials, but we saw people wearing them everywhere, including schoolchildren and individuals visiting the temples. Shockingly, Jonah was less enthused about my insistence on putting on different clothes AND taking photos, but he found his willingness and ultimately seemed to enjoy the experience.

November 22^nd: I had been looking forward to this day for months, as the hike to the Paro Taktsang Monastery (Tiger’s Nest) is a quintessential activity when visiting Bhutan. When you google pictures of the country, images of Tiger’s Nest – set 3,000 meters above the Paro Valley, high in a cliff – are what you often see. Tiger’s Nest was built in the 17^th century and gets its name from the story of its founding. In the 8^th century, Guru Rinpoche rode up the mountain on the back of a pregnant tigress and spent time meditating at the cave that is now the site of the monastery, a holy place for the Bhutanese. We ended our trip with this hike due to the elevation change, but even if there were no elevation issues to consider, I’m glad that this was one of our final big activities as I felt so much more connected to the culture by the time we ascended the mountain. Our day began a bit cloudy and chilly but quickly warmed. Both Lhanga Dorjee and Sonam accompanied us and insisted on carrying all our stuff, including my backpack. We had the fortune to hike over Lhabab Duchen, a public holiday which marks Gautama Buddha’s return to earth after attaining Nirvana. Thus, we hiked alongside tourists and Bhutanese alike. We were also pleased to see that some of the Bhutanese groups traveled with a guide, as the nine temples are so layered with history and religious symbology that – according to our guide - many locals do not fully understand the depths of it. It was also lovely to hike alongside so many locals because Tiger’s Nest is a big attraction for tourists and we were relieved to see that Bhutanese also visit the monastery.

A little about our hike -- the initial climb is steep, and we enjoyed taking small breaks to enjoy the views. There is a café en route, where we picked up some cookies. Once we got to the top of the mountain we were treated to a full panoramic view of the monastery deep in the cliffs, high above the valley. The clouds had finally cleared, and the image was jaw dropping, like something out of a dream. We stood quietly for several moments to take it all in. We still needed to walk down several stairs – and then back up again – but when we arrived, Lhanga Dorjee gave us a tour through the different temples. Jonah’s favorite room was the one with the status of Guru Rinpoche riding the tiger. I enjoyed lighting butter lamps for our 11 living family members, sending wishes of peace to those who are no longer with us, and asking the world for protection and hope against suffering. Once we toured the temples, we were given hot tea and crackers. For this, I was extremely grateful as by then, Jonah and I were very cold and I couldn’t feel my toes. After warming up, we began our climb back down the mountain, stopped to hoist a prayer flag for our family and to pick up a souvenir t-shirt for Jonah. We completed the hike in approximately 3 hours, including time for photos but not including our stops to snack and enjoy the monastery. As an ambivalent hiker, Jonah did great and expressed that he also enjoyed the hiking part of the hike, which I consider to be a big win.

We stopped for lunch in town, and then went to visit Deki, a traditional Bhutanese farmhouse. We opted to have hot stone baths, which use fresh water and medicinal leaves, which are heated with stones roasted over a fire until they are burning hot. These baths are used to treat a variety of ailments, including post-pregnancy pain. Jonah and I had a bit of a “location perspective” experience, whereby we both got in our baths – (there were curtains separating them) – and he immediately said his was scalding hot and he was turning red. Mine was hot, but perfectly manageable. I was surprised that he was having such difficulty with the temperature, as he stayed in just a few minutes. After a while my bath started to lose heat so I went to stick my toe into Jonah’s and wow – his was so much hotter than mine was! No wonder he had trouble with it.

After baths, we played archery. I won’t say much more about this experience as Jonah will have a deep cut ready when he publishes his newsletter.

We toured the farmhouse, which displayed many artifacts from the 18^th century. I capped off an incredible day with a 90-minute traditional massage while our guides hung out with Jonah and gave him soda. We returned to our hotel happy, hungry, and tired.

 November 23^rd: After eating breakfast, we checked out of our hotel for our final day in Paro. First, Lhanga Dorjee surprised us with a tapestry of the four friends for us to display when we get back home next summer. Furthermore, when we got in the car, he surprised us yet again with a small Tupperware of yak meat. Jonah was really enthusiastic about trying it, but since our guide was unable to locate it locally, he drove home – like, after a 12-hour day of touring – to make it for us. (Shall I again wax poetic on how incredible our guide and driver were?!) I told Jonah even if he hated it he needed to lie and say he loved it, but of course, he loved it.

We visited one final temple, Kyichu Lhakhang, which contains one of the oldest monasteries in Bhutan alongside a more modern temple built in the late 1900’s. We lingered longer in these temples, aware that we were saying goodbye (for now), and wanting to take in every sight and smell. Standing in Kyichu Lhakhang, we discussed how one cannot avoid the four sufferings of birth, getting older, becoming sick, and dying. We also talked about the Buddha’s pronouncement that Buddhism is not to be superior to other religions, that individuals need to work through their faith on their own. I love this and commented that much of religion – at least as it is practiced and/or misconstrued in the US – is focused on being right or super-imposing one’s religious doctrine upon others. In stories, folktales, and paintings, Buddhism came alive for me, and I reflected upon the humility needed to stay in such a deep practice, always learning, and constantly striving towards helping others. This, I hope, is something I will continue to carry with me long after I leave this beautiful country.

After our final monastery visit, we visited the town of Paro to do a little shopping, where I picked up a doll for Calla and another poster for my office, this one depicting the principle of shifting the mind away from distraction. Then we went out to lunch with our guides. Paro was packed, as today the relic we saw in Gangtey was being displayed in Paro. We still managed to snag a table, and all of us enjoyed heaping plates of steaming hot momos. It was great to have a non-buffet meal, but even greater to sit down with our guides, as both ate in “guide rooms” during our other meals together. Finally, we drove to the bird’s eye view, where we could see planes taking off from the small but mighty Paro airport. Sonam engaged Jonah in a game of “throw rocks at pinecones and try to knock them off the trees” for a solid thirty minutes, and I think the experience essentially sums up our entire trip.

For Jonah, I hope he can take away that culture is multi-faceted, that he can connect with people very different from himself and that people who seemingly are very different may not be so dissimilar after all. We enjoyed many conversations with our guides, comparing similarities and differences between our cultures. As our guides had three young daughters between them, we compared notes on princess obsessions and learned that Frozen reigns supreme no matter where you are in the world. We learned that it is only recently that children celebrate birthdays. Incidentally, this is also how we learned that our guide had a birthday during our trip and we’d had no clue since he never grew up celebrating. Learning about how things have changed in Bhutan over the years (e.g., fewer people wanting to farm, more exposure to screens) really resonated with me as something we all must grapple with across the globe as we raise the next generation.

For the first time, Jonah read voraciously on this trip, and with minimal screen time, he came alive in the material. I watched him savor nature and delight in small pleasures. I hope we both take away a greater sense of patience and appreciation for seemingly minor but mighty gestures of kindness. I am grateful for the opportunity to find deeper meaning in my work and connect with my son without his siblings around. As he is only six months from becoming a teenager, I sometimes worry these moments will become ever more fleeting, so I know to take them anywhere I can get them.

So…. what is it about Bhutan that has me so captivated? I am struggling to put it into words. Even though we had a packed itinerary, I never felt rushed. The smell of incense in the temples. The serenity of watching people pray and listening to chanting. Tiny children wearing national dress. The hospitality. I felt so wholly at peace while traveling through Bhutan. It was like something was in the air that allowed me to slow down and fully settle into the experience. The feeling in the air that no matter what else is going on, there is always, always time to stop and throw rocks at pinecones. I look forward to a return visit to Eastern Bhutan sometime in the near-ish future.

Please stay tuned for Jonah’s blog, which includes some pretty epic video footage.

xo,
Sara